DIARY>>>THAT SHIT

See all I wanna do is be relevant,
Just tell me that I ever meant anything more,
That you could ever see me and you in another light,
But its like the dark women indoors in the darkest nights by the wrong man,
see all of them have made you incapable of a first impression,
what it do is I channel my aggression with no cable or antenna,
Just intentions to impress you if capable,
Hoping that the material possesions can materialise to a better you,
Cars, nothing I drive can drive you out of this state of mind,
For such an ugly picture and,
Money, nothing I buy can buy more time for your ears to tell your heart to listen to it,
Diamonds, a girls best frienf is what they say but believe me with the right allegience shorty you gonna shine anyways,
and everyday that goes by is a couple more lines in her diary,
the day before is better than the present,
so anyone presented in her presence is doing these life sentences,
theres no key for release,
no reason to be around,
her minds in the clouds,
she writes it all down,
in MY diary,

Today Sucks Major Ass

So its not raining but its like that awkward in between stage where it looks like its about to rain, you know? Kinda like my life...wow i haven't smile all day. Thats so unusual for me. I also have never felt regret for anything I've done in my life at all because its either been worth the experience or has given me a moment of clarity and gave me an awesome learning experience letting me understand my wants in life and my dislikes.I cant believe i let myself doubt myself for a moment. I know i make stupid decisions but im usually okay with that shit, u know?...Inty way if dis chick dont get out my ear.....(jojo)

Just Another day @ the Beach

I hate the way i feel right now.feel like a wave just crashed over my intuition.question is 'am i gonna let it drown me or am i gonna let that wave pull me out and take me on a new journey and learning experience' it kinda sucks if the wave ruins what im trying gain and washes me on shore with nothing 2 show for trying.not in the mood to lose my jewelry at this beach..maybe i shouldn't have went looking for another wave.just another day at the beach.hopefully i leave the beach after a beautiful sunset rather than because it starts to rain.♥

They saaaaaaay its because of my age girl..but age aint nothin but a numba

......THAT MATTERS LMAO
i be damned i date someone younger than me...I can let 1 or too years younger slip by..but really young enough to make a song about it aint cute lmao....I'm dumb ha ha....N silent study chillin wit da girls b4 enviromental science....

Shakera Briana..this trick

she think she is so fly
talking bout..."write a blog a bout me?"
like she da shit
n she clearly aint
she think she is all dat in a bag of chips
but she def not
she always be begging for food
hungry as shit
This heifer
wit her skinny bony ass
n then she over here laughing when the teacher clearly told her dat she should not be talking to no one.
N now she wanna write something irrelevant :
Otay & this be that Pritsy Bxtch otha known as "SHAY"
Ebz is jus= my #1 HATER ! Nuff SED .
Yes in she on my blog......but I'm hating...
"Inty Wayz"...fall back
This trick....hood rat(jk)spelling prissy wrong n shit in its supposedly her nickname...lmao.....really "Otay" wow...she's classy..ha ha.
signed yours truly,
Ebz City

"Pain is Just Weakness Leaving the Body"

This is not a poem.
What should I say to my readers today?..aha if i have any.
So I'm in my last quarter of senior year and I'm stressing like crazy cause i got finals and tests coming up.
Right now I'm in study hall wit my right:Tika and my "every now n then": Courtney
I miss the winter. I know I sound crazy but I am so its okay lol.
But for real the winter is crack...well it looks like it lmao
Maybe cause I can cover up my body more in the winter and I love being able to snuggle up in watch movies and go to mad celebrations cause of all the holidays in the winter.
The winter is a lot more beautiful as well.. Its living across from fanklin park that got me hooked when i was younger.
Seeing all the snow on the bare trees and hearing water run down the melting icicles.
Those little things is what I miss about the winter.
I never get sick during the winter either because I stay going out to different places with friends to get hot chocolate, warm cider, and egg nog.
Or partying with the eggnog n henny
N Burning to keep warm...
The good old days...Damn i miss the winter..
The summer is the season i get sick cause i be inside with everybody and they're germs tryna get my share of the air conditioning lmao..
In the summer is the freaking stinkiest season of the year because for some reason people seem to lose all since of personal hygiene.
So I just realized that I've been rambling and that everything I've written has nothing to do with the title of this blog haha.

So the reason that "Pain is Just Weakness Leaving the Body" is the title of my blog is because it keeps coming up in my life that its just destiny to learn from mistakes..You go through a lot of bullshit(pain) to learn from mistakes..but it just makes you just a Lil' stronger of a person.

Okay so my next blog probably will be a poem about this one dude in particular because he doesn't think i will write about him. and i like him that much to prove him wrong lmao.

So i covered all my grounds..I explained my blog title...gave you a random fact about my self(i love WINTER), and gave you a preview of my next blog...So if you have any suggestions hit me up.

Steps 2 Please Me..(Made b4 I lost my V)

U'll...
Whisper in my ear
Tell me my spot
I'll tell you if i like it
Then make you like it a lot
U'll...
Whistle on my neck as a tease then kiss
Nibble on my ear, then suck on my lips
U'll...
Hug my body tight with your hands between my thighs
And leave my body with warmth
Making me want to moan with sighs
U'll..
lightly touch my cheek with the back of your finger
While letting me release your fears, your stress, your anger.
U'll ...
Start above my naval, then make your way down,
Knowing im ready when i begin making sounds.
U'll...
Get me all anxious
Not thinking I could last
Got me taking off your clothes for you
So you could "spank dat ass"lmao
When you get this far you'll know that I've been pleased
These are the steps it takes to uncross these knees.

Love

If I had a sight or glimpse of a smile as intoxicating I'd miss it:
The knowing it existed.
If i woke up oneday without the knowledge that security was by your side,
I'd lose it most definitely:
My train of thought, my insanity.
If that touch or kiss overcame my body
I'd be in bliss with satisfaction
Never feeling it frightens my infactuation.
The everlasting thoughts of being embrased by
its tease or presence.
If I could just have that, the whole package, all the above.
I wish i could have that good love.

Damn Times is Changing for the better

Gaining a lot of this thing called perspective.
I've been through some shit this last year and a little of this year.
Its so funny how easily the idea of being able to change someone pops into your head like an epiphany.As if no one else has ever tried it.
I wish it was that easy, but then there wouldn't be an individual.
There wouldn't be standards.People would have no mistakes to learn from. Nothing would be right. But what if i could? I would change everyone for the better because that's all i want for most people. Just to realize that they don't have to be the perfect person, but they should at least be a decent human being. I think i found some one who is just like that.There are always qualities that your not going to like about someone,but this person is making it hard for me to find these qualities. I'm a good person. Have had ups and downs just like the next, but at this point in my life im on solid grounds with myself. But sometime i just don't know what to think about people. I guess im still learning. How to figure people out, how to make somewhat good judgment, and decide whats best for me. Thats all for now though. Maybe next time i'll have the answer.

Me. Myself, N my Girls

Sitting in Environmental Science right now supposed to be working on my public service announcement but luckily found a little bit of time to update you'll on my life...haven't wrote any thing good in a while..but i decided to dedicate this poem to my girls Tika n Jojo..here we go
My wannabe hood rat friends(lmao..joking)
Far from it though
See me everyday
Never build me up to make me feel low
All they wanna do is laugh n play
But this aint Chinese school so we can have those days.
Especially n the summer we can have our fun
Talk loud all you want, i know u aint tough
They them wanna be hood rat chicks
Actors on the prowl
Crazy as shit...Talking PROPERLY loud
These wannabe hood rats with G.P.A.'s above 3.0 and IQ's so high
Making me wanna laugh til i cry, when dey tell me they gangsters on the side.
Please...haha my wannabe hood rat friends wearing professional dress and using big words while speaking in a soft tone obliviously cuz they do it so often.
Then wanna tell me "the eat those all day" like some niggas in the street
HA HA these wanna be hood rat heffas
Gotta love um though
Will tell you when you wrong and even when your actin like a hoe
"Chicks ova dicks" is what they say.
N i say where you get that from cuz i know y'all aint get it in the street.
They say I know girl..we got that shit off BET
These wanna be hood rat, street smart," my chick ova dick" greatest friends of mine
No joke, no lie, they smart as shit
As hood rat as it sounds they actually right when they say "chicks ova dicks"

College Essay: Im mad proud of it...

Success Equals Impact

All I could see in almost every dream in weeks past and at this particular moment was silly string, colorful balloons, streamers, disco lights, party favors, candy bags, masks, face paint, and more because it was almost time. It was twelve noon and I knew there were only eight short hours left until the anticipated moment. People were running around like chickens with their heads cut off ; running to pick up the cake, decorating the dance studio, putting up the lights, printing up the guest list, preparing the food, and paying off the dancers and cleaning crew. I had a racing heart and a million missed calls on my mind and I chose to pick up the worst phone call at the moment when my anxiety level was at an all time high.

The DJ called to cancel. I couldn’t believe it. His excuse was legitimate, so I couldn’t blame him, but what was I going to do? I automatically called every friend in my phone book until I found about four possible DJ’s and called one after another. Finally, I found the perfect DJ and I was excited and nervous because it was just an hour before the party.

 At that moment I realized what I wanted my life to be like: anticipating, frightening, surprising, engaging, and exciting. Life will always be fraught with chaos and uncertainty, but at least if I follow the dream of becoming an event planner it will be the only place I will feel that I have control over where I am headed. I was raised by a strict single mother and because I lived in a dangerous area, as a teen the only friends I grew to know were from my school. My mom didn’t allow me access to a community of gang violence and of children who have no choice but to grow up faster than they should. Although my mom had good intentions not being able to explore my surroundings and neighborhood has disabled me from having more experiences and encouraged me to want to help my community rather than stay away from it which is why I planned to have the party in my community.

The party helped me prove to my mother that people in my neighborhood could have a public gathering while being safe, having a good time, and realizing that there is more to our community than gang violence, hardship, and struggle to succeed at living. Because the party was such a success with bringing everyone together, I know that it is possible for there to be a change in the stereotype of my community being too dangerous to have a safe and fun gathering. I don’t want to lose my personality in the end to achieve success.  I’ve realized in school that my personality and where I have come from  has not only made me the achiever I have become but has presented me with  a goal that will help me live a comfortable and successful life while helping my community.

I am the only one in my family who decided to pursue a goal and follow it before ending high school.  I knew what I wanted to do, so I took advantage of school and community service opportunities to start clubs; that way, I’d have the chance to plan events and fundraisers. I chose to find ways to event plan daily because I didn’t want to be like my family members who live paycheck to paycheck because they always said that they will eventually return to pursuing their dreams but never did.

With an education I plan to start a non-profit teen-run event planning business for the teenagers in my community. All of the profit would go toward scholarship funds named by the teenagers in the business. I want adolescents in my community that aren’t given the chance with their schools to be able to intern with the business and help the areas in which they live in around Boston such as Dorchester, Roxbury, South Boston, Mattapan, and more. They could even learn to plan events for their school so they are able to write about it in their college essays.  

People always ask me if I want to be successful. The truth is, people usually describe success as making money and having flashy possessions. Because of the environment in which I’ve grown up, my goal isn’t to be successful based on what society defines it as but rather successful based on what I want my society to become. If I can make an impact by changing my community for the better, then I will be successful.